Where is the Goddess?

I do apologise for not keeping up to date on my blog. For some reason my attention span is very limited and if I had to opt for laying on the couch and watching TV or doing something constructive, I opt to lazing and doing nothing at all. It is not that I am ungrateful for what I have in my life because I truly am. I am grateful for the job I have despite that the pay does not cover all my expenses and I will be living on the bones of my ass for a while yet, because I am grateful for it. I am grateful for my house and that the bank has not yet come knocking at my door. I am not grateful to the Dept of Inland Revenue who is hounding me for taxes but I do understand they have a job to do. Just wish they would hound the rich and affluent people instead of getting my stomach twisted in a knot. I am grateful for my friends. But. There is something missing in my life - a spark, an energy, a true happiness. Something is missing deep inside which is causing me to go through my day like a robot instead of living it abundantly and joyfully. And, I just can't put my finger on it. What is so frustrating for me is that this is so unlike my character and personality and it seems to be going on for far too long. What I do miss a lot (besides having the moolah to spoil myself) is the chance for holistic treatments - reiki, shaitsu massages, aromatherapy massages or a simple visit to my holistic therapist for body balancing. I don't feel grounded. My life seems chaotic when in fact it is only the financial side of my life which is chaotic. I can't explain the short attention span other than possibly my brain is telling me I really, really do need my eyes tested which I had done 4 years ago. I have heard that a short attention span sometimes is a clear indication that your brain is struggling to concentrate due to poor eyesight?

My job is ambling along. Not much is happening and I have had no training but after today, it appears there may be light at the end of the tunnel. The only drawback is that as we are a non-profit organisation, we have to ensure that we do enough fundraising to cover all salaries for the month and that puts a lot of pressure on everyone to ensure that their job is justified and that they have enough work to do to warrant the job.

Now that I have that out of the way, let me get down to the light-hearted stuff. Ummmmmmm...... mmmmmmmmmmmm ............ wellllll ........... nope, can't think of anything right now. Baby took a chunk out of my hand on Friday as he really is peeved off that I have to work. We have just had a long weekend and he would not leave my side and slept indoors all day long. Thursday and Friday we have off again (just got to love those long weekends when one has a fulltime job) and he will, in all likelihood, do the same. At the moment he is curled up on top of my monitor. He has a new "thing" - he only drinks water from the toilet - I have to remember to catch him in action and he now lies on top of me when I am vegging on the couch. He is good company but boy, oh boy, do I miss human company at night and another paycheck and someone to share my load with.

T has signed the partnership agreement and there is so much I need to do and to provide to her but my passion has waned a lot. I am hoping she will help revive it by taking the workload and leaving me to be creative and to "find" myself again.

That, my friends, is my life in a nutshell. The nut is tiny so I am afraid that is all you get for the moment. But I know you love me and don't mind the "story in a nutshell" moment.

So until later my friends - behave yourselves and enjoy the onset of summer.